It’s time to talk about … Progress NOT Perfection…
As a recovering perfectionist I’m here to say… PERFECT CAN’T BE DONE! Perfect is a a myth! It’s a lie.
I used perfectionism to cover up my fears. If only I could be the perfect mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, employer, coach, you name it- then people would not see me as incompetent, a loser, stupid, weak, selfish, etc.
My fear of being thought of in these negative ways kept me stuck, too often stopped me from trying, cut off really connecting to/with others, disempowered me, hid who I truly was, and hindered my joy and peace.
I learned that me trying to be perfect was just a fear response- a response to my fear of showing up in a way I thought unpleasant. This response (action) of having to have everything appear perfect caused me anxiety, depression, made me beat myself up, and caused me to give up before even trying ( if I didn’t see a path to get to perfect why even try?!?).
I know now (thanks to my amazing coach training at Fearless Living Institute) that it was really just my fear’s way of trying to keep me safe. Thank you fear, but you can take a backseat now! It was trying to keep me safe from rejection, from being laughed at, from looking stupid, etc.
Perfectionism, by the way, was not the only response I had…OH NO! I also people pleased, isolated, shut down, procrastinated, quieted my voice, blamed and beat myself up when things went wrong- Would you believe that I even took internal responsibility for when things went wrong in others life? Like I had control of that even! NO MORE!
Progress is what I strive for now. Taking that first step into action is what I know I MUST do. Practice & learning is the commitment I make to myself. And DONE BEATS PERFECT is my new motto. Taking the risk is a gift that leads me to more confidence which allows for more progress.
With progress as the focus, I see all the steps I’ve taken along the way and I can celebrate each one. Progress allows me to accept failures as lessens, not defeat, and keeps me moving forward. Progress is the mindset I embrace that affords me to practice being open to new ways of doing things – because when I am focused on progress, I know it doesn’t have to happen only one way, it can be achieved several different ways. There isn’t just one “RIGHT” way. When progress is the name of the game I feel freer to ask for the help I need instead of staying stuck.
It’s progress not perfection that can lead us down a path of doing, of accepting, of learning, of patience, of compassion, of openness, of celebration, and embracing the journey not the destination.
Perfection is FAKE,
But Progress we can make,
By the actions that we take.
Do not let fear cause you to quake,
Instead trust, love, and accept yourself for goodness sake!